It was a classic:
Boy sees girl on instagram
Boy coyly <3s girl’s stories
Boy slides into girl’s DMs
He seems nice enough, creative, interesting. So… conversation initiated.
As I write this I sit in my first bath of the day (I’m up to two now), sweat beading down my forehead, salt threatening in the corners of my eyelids. It’s so hot I can barely think.
Maybe that’s a good thing.
Yesterday we exchanged texts and quick video messages - playful, but totally friendly. That’s what I thought, anyway.
At 8 pm he sends me a shot of DC Mardi Gras and I ask him how it was.
“3/10. A woman tried to pick me up at a bar.”
A couple hours later…
“You’re art, you know that right?”
I had a suspicion, I respond.
It continues.
“You’re Perfect. The ultimate,” he tells me. “No one compares to your beauty.”
We’ve known each other for approximately 4.75 days. I think I’m gonna vomit the salted dark chocolate I’ve been nibbling.
4.75 days ago we got on zoom and talked about doing a photo shoot together. He wants to dive more into his creative side, he tells me. That’s why he has the weird neon lights in the background, and why zoom sets off fireworks whenever he gives a thumbs up. Why does he thumbs up so much that the fireworks are relevant?
We talk about ideas, settle on a theme. Moments before booking the studio he says he’s worried about me flaking…
I’m not a flake, I assure him. Plus, I love being in front of the camera.
Harmless, right?
But soon I remember the last time I agreed to model for a man who liked my energy.
I remember how after it ended he hugged me, too close, too slow, presumably only to press his hard cock into my leg.
I told him to leave.
Now the photographer’s texts are getting under my skin. I notice the ick now that I’m out of it, the energy vortex.
Raise your hand if you’ve ever been in the vortex thinking it means “this is a good thing.”
Nah.
It’s chemistry. Sure. Charge. Electricity.
But electricity, actually, means nothing.
It’s how you feel in the aftermath that gives the real information.
Drained. That’s how I felt.
Another one bites the dust.
I am gonna flake on him. But he predicted it.
numinous movement is where you are invited to fall in love with yourself — and life — through the art and alchemy of movement. In addition to weekly practice notes, paid subscribers receive access to seasonal movement journeys to attune you to the rhythm of your being + podcast style portals of bodymind expansion.
