(almost)34-year-old single male artist. Think I’ll have to go with “lose the plot”.
I’ve been contemplating this exact dilemma after my therapist asked me this week “what’s it going to take for you to not get instantly bored doing something you really don’t wanna do?”
Wonderful article, lots to think about, and always love a Rilke quote!
A compulsion indeed. I think (from looking at my life) the only choice is to ignore it and go insane in a destructive way… or heed its call and go creatively insane. But I’m really not sure that’s a choice either.
At least you’ve made something from the wackiness, channeled it into someplace which is better than containing it, bottling it up. That way lies totally uncontrolled insanity. I think it’s better if it’s a least slightly controlled, don’t you?
I had similar experiences, mine connected to violence which is a kind of self destructive behavior. But no more. I just wrote a poem early this morning about a young waitress setting the tables for the day. Just in little things like that I maintain the wacko.
Proud of you for doing what feels right. What fills you up. You are honestly in a better place than 99% of people who are living a life they think they should.
I SO relate, sister!! ALLLL I ever wanna do is wake up completely free to create something out of nothing. Every day. I love the fact that we artists can support each other from afar through the aether to be/come who we are. Love to you, Faye!! ❤️
This is something I needed now. It’s been playing in my brain the last few months how there’s gotta be a way I can earn money without crushing myself and going the employee life . I’ve done girl bossing too, creating my own copywriting business and that left me burnt out as well. Probably because I hated marketing 😩
I’m sending to the universe a wish to Please help me use my gifts, my creativity, my poetry, my sensitivity to help support me financially in a way that feels aligned and nourishing. I'll send those prayers out for all of us.
Also I love that you became close friends with your parents. It’s the sweetest thing . To circle back past the traumas we integrate. 💙
Sending out prayers with you Chaya 💗💗💗 I know we will find our ways if we just keep paying attention and creating what feels supportive and leaning into this edges. We’ve got this
I lived with my parents a number of years ago, in my mom's later years, and though it was sorta dark, I'm glad I got to spend those years with her. She passed in 2017, but looking back I wouldn't have changed much.
I’m glad you got to spend that time with her. I feel like it ends up being a 20/20 hindsight thing for a lot of people - I wish I had when I could’ve. Grateful to be doing it while I can
I so appreciate the support Jeremy. Truly I am touched by your attention and reflection. I have always thought that in another timeline I’d have gone the phd route, but I couldn’t even get through the first year of college so that kinda went out the window. Regardless, I totally understand the allure - especially for one who just loves to learn. Was it really a total fuck up though? I’m sure you learned something, even if it wasn’t the intended thing.
A little synchronicity. I’ve read a few times in the past month about the idea that what the student learned is rarely directly related to what the teacher is intending to teach.
This is the most touching feedback I could wish for. Thank you for sharing your experiences with me. It is easy to feel like there is an invisible digital wall up sometimes and you are brilliant at breaking right through it.
Over the past couple years writing here, I have realized I share what I do, in the way I do, because it's what I wished I had when I was initially moving through these challenges, and also an ongoing way to keep myself accountable for my own growth. Like you said, It's easy to rely on external "answers" to our "problems," but eventually we see how they're not problems at all - just differences from what's expected.
I'm so grateful to get to be a reminder of that in as many ways as I can.
(almost)34-year-old single male artist. Think I’ll have to go with “lose the plot”.
I’ve been contemplating this exact dilemma after my therapist asked me this week “what’s it going to take for you to not get instantly bored doing something you really don’t wanna do?”
Wonderful article, lots to think about, and always love a Rilke quote!
Hahahaha oh damn what a question. I feel attacked 😂 but also the struggle is real. Just lose the plot. It’s gonna be fine. Rilke says so
100% you will make money doing what you love. It will all come xx
Thank you lovely ♥️♥️♥️
Captures a lot of the insanity of living a creative life because it is a compulsion, not really a choice.
A compulsion indeed. I think (from looking at my life) the only choice is to ignore it and go insane in a destructive way… or heed its call and go creatively insane. But I’m really not sure that’s a choice either.
At least you’ve made something from the wackiness, channeled it into someplace which is better than containing it, bottling it up. That way lies totally uncontrolled insanity. I think it’s better if it’s a least slightly controlled, don’t you?
Ha! I know it’s better. Uncontrolled for me looked like destroying myself in any way I could
I had similar experiences, mine connected to violence which is a kind of self destructive behavior. But no more. I just wrote a poem early this morning about a young waitress setting the tables for the day. Just in little things like that I maintain the wacko.
Ha! your next poetry book - maintaining the wacko.
That would be a good name...
Your need to be you, to be free, to be your own answer poor from the page. You can’t be hemmed in but must fly free
absolutely 🦅
Proud of you for doing what feels right. What fills you up. You are honestly in a better place than 99% of people who are living a life they think they should.
Thank you for saying this. It makes me breath a little deeper into my heart
I SO relate, sister!! ALLLL I ever wanna do is wake up completely free to create something out of nothing. Every day. I love the fact that we artists can support each other from afar through the aether to be/come who we are. Love to you, Faye!! ❤️
Yes yessss you creative queen 🌹 you inspire me to keep be/coming. Love to you too Jac ❤️🔥❤️🔥
This is something I needed now. It’s been playing in my brain the last few months how there’s gotta be a way I can earn money without crushing myself and going the employee life . I’ve done girl bossing too, creating my own copywriting business and that left me burnt out as well. Probably because I hated marketing 😩
I’m sending to the universe a wish to Please help me use my gifts, my creativity, my poetry, my sensitivity to help support me financially in a way that feels aligned and nourishing. I'll send those prayers out for all of us.
Also I love that you became close friends with your parents. It’s the sweetest thing . To circle back past the traumas we integrate. 💙
Sending out prayers with you Chaya 💗💗💗 I know we will find our ways if we just keep paying attention and creating what feels supportive and leaning into this edges. We’ve got this
I lived with my parents a number of years ago, in my mom's later years, and though it was sorta dark, I'm glad I got to spend those years with her. She passed in 2017, but looking back I wouldn't have changed much.
I’m glad you got to spend that time with her. I feel like it ends up being a 20/20 hindsight thing for a lot of people - I wish I had when I could’ve. Grateful to be doing it while I can
Keep dancing with mom at the grocery store haha
Absofuckinglutely
I so appreciate the support Jeremy. Truly I am touched by your attention and reflection. I have always thought that in another timeline I’d have gone the phd route, but I couldn’t even get through the first year of college so that kinda went out the window. Regardless, I totally understand the allure - especially for one who just loves to learn. Was it really a total fuck up though? I’m sure you learned something, even if it wasn’t the intended thing.
A little synchronicity. I’ve read a few times in the past month about the idea that what the student learned is rarely directly related to what the teacher is intending to teach.
This is the most touching feedback I could wish for. Thank you for sharing your experiences with me. It is easy to feel like there is an invisible digital wall up sometimes and you are brilliant at breaking right through it.
Over the past couple years writing here, I have realized I share what I do, in the way I do, because it's what I wished I had when I was initially moving through these challenges, and also an ongoing way to keep myself accountable for my own growth. Like you said, It's easy to rely on external "answers" to our "problems," but eventually we see how they're not problems at all - just differences from what's expected.
I'm so grateful to get to be a reminder of that in as many ways as I can.