25 Comments
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Ryan Stephen Thornton's avatar

(almost)34-year-old single male artist. Think I’ll have to go with “lose the plot”.

I’ve been contemplating this exact dilemma after my therapist asked me this week “what’s it going to take for you to not get instantly bored doing something you really don’t wanna do?”

Wonderful article, lots to think about, and always love a Rilke quote!

Faye Boam's avatar

Hahahaha oh damn what a question. I feel attacked 😂 but also the struggle is real. Just lose the plot. It’s gonna be fine. Rilke says so

Hannah's avatar

100% you will make money doing what you love. It will all come xx

Faye Boam's avatar

Thank you lovely ♥️♥️♥️

Weston Parker's avatar

Captures a lot of the insanity of living a creative life because it is a compulsion, not really a choice.

Faye Boam's avatar

A compulsion indeed. I think (from looking at my life) the only choice is to ignore it and go insane in a destructive way… or heed its call and go creatively insane. But I’m really not sure that’s a choice either.

Weston Parker's avatar

At least you’ve made something from the wackiness, channeled it into someplace which is better than containing it, bottling it up. That way lies totally uncontrolled insanity. I think it’s better if it’s a least slightly controlled, don’t you?

Faye Boam's avatar

Ha! I know it’s better. Uncontrolled for me looked like destroying myself in any way I could

Weston Parker's avatar

I had similar experiences, mine connected to violence which is a kind of self destructive behavior. But no more. I just wrote a poem early this morning about a young waitress setting the tables for the day. Just in little things like that I maintain the wacko.

Faye Boam's avatar

Ha! your next poetry book - maintaining the wacko.

Weston Parker's avatar

That would be a good name...

Adrian's avatar

Your need to be you, to be free, to be your own answer poor from the page. You can’t be hemmed in but must fly free

Faye Boam's avatar

absolutely 🦅

Holly's avatar

Proud of you for doing what feels right. What fills you up. You are honestly in a better place than 99% of people who are living a life they think they should.

Faye Boam's avatar

Thank you for saying this. It makes me breath a little deeper into my heart

Jacqueline Rendell's avatar

I SO relate, sister!! ALLLL I ever wanna do is wake up completely free to create something out of nothing. Every day. I love the fact that we artists can support each other from afar through the aether to be/come who we are. Love to you, Faye!! ❤️

Faye Boam's avatar

Yes yessss you creative queen 🌹 you inspire me to keep be/coming. Love to you too Jac ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

Chaya M. Appel's avatar

This is something I needed now. It’s been playing in my brain the last few months how there’s gotta be a way I can earn money without crushing myself and going the employee life . I’ve done girl bossing too, creating my own copywriting business and that left me burnt out as well. Probably because I hated marketing 😩

I’m sending to the universe a wish to Please help me use my gifts, my creativity, my poetry, my sensitivity to help support me financially in a way that feels aligned and nourishing. I'll send those prayers out for all of us.

Also I love that you became close friends with your parents. It’s the sweetest thing . To circle back past the traumas we integrate. 💙

Faye Boam's avatar

Sending out prayers with you Chaya 💗💗💗 I know we will find our ways if we just keep paying attention and creating what feels supportive and leaning into this edges. We’ve got this

Seth Werkheiser's avatar

I lived with my parents a number of years ago, in my mom's later years, and though it was sorta dark, I'm glad I got to spend those years with her. She passed in 2017, but looking back I wouldn't have changed much.

Faye Boam's avatar

I’m glad you got to spend that time with her. I feel like it ends up being a 20/20 hindsight thing for a lot of people - I wish I had when I could’ve. Grateful to be doing it while I can

Seth Werkheiser's avatar

Keep dancing with mom at the grocery store haha

Faye Boam's avatar

Absofuckinglutely

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Feb 21, 2025
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Faye Boam's avatar

I so appreciate the support Jeremy. Truly I am touched by your attention and reflection. I have always thought that in another timeline I’d have gone the phd route, but I couldn’t even get through the first year of college so that kinda went out the window. Regardless, I totally understand the allure - especially for one who just loves to learn. Was it really a total fuck up though? I’m sure you learned something, even if it wasn’t the intended thing.

A little synchronicity. I’ve read a few times in the past month about the idea that what the student learned is rarely directly related to what the teacher is intending to teach.

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Feb 22, 2025
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Faye Boam's avatar

This is the most touching feedback I could wish for. Thank you for sharing your experiences with me. It is easy to feel like there is an invisible digital wall up sometimes and you are brilliant at breaking right through it.

Over the past couple years writing here, I have realized I share what I do, in the way I do, because it's what I wished I had when I was initially moving through these challenges, and also an ongoing way to keep myself accountable for my own growth. Like you said, It's easy to rely on external "answers" to our "problems," but eventually we see how they're not problems at all - just differences from what's expected.

I'm so grateful to get to be a reminder of that in as many ways as I can.