6 things i wish i knew when i started my fitness journey

plus thoughts on getting out of the starvation-overexercising cycle

Oh the wild, wild world of fitness. Everywhere you look, you’re confronted with opinions about the “ideal body” and the “perfect meal plan” and the workout that will get you shredded in just 10 days!

Walk into the “health food section” of the grocery store and you see claims of magical wellness emblazoned in bold sans serif on every package. The cereal you used to buy for $4.99 now has a high protein version that sells for $9.99 at least, and while it may have more protein than the peasant version, it usually still has more fat and carbs than protein, not to mention excessive amounts of fiber that might fuck up your stomach. So as a protein source, it’s kind of a waste of money and doesn’t even taste that good. Yes, of course I’ve tried them. I’ll take Peanut Butter Puffins and a bowl of greek yogurt over those posers, any day.

Wow that was a lot about cereal.

But it needed to happen, because early in my fitness journey, I was all over everything everyone said about fitness, and I was none-the-wiser OR fitter for it. I was actually just confused, starving, and running in circles. And let me be clear about one thing: I hate running. Respect to those of you who get after it, especially in the summer, but my god you are a specific kind of crazy.

Anyway. I don’t think my fitness story is unique. But I don’t think this kind of story is talked about enough… because STIGMA.

So, to begin the process of simultaneously embracing and shattering the stigma of being a FIT GIRL^™ I give you the simplified version of my story:

1. Got into fitness because I knew it was supposed to be good for me.

2. Found some stuff I really enjoyed! Wanted to get better and stronger.

3. Tried to be perfect about it, got crazy disciplined and obsessive. My “fitness” was no longer fun or actually fitness promoting.

4. Developed an eating disorder because my latent be skinny at all costs narrative was ACTIVATED, baby.

5. Realized through a series of failed attempts to get stronger that starving and overexercising wasn’t gonna work.

6. Got super uncomfortable with the idea that I’d have to change anything and convinced myself I had different physiological needs than every other human, you know, just to prolong the torture.

7. Got so frustrated that I finally accepted I wasn’t getting where I wanted and it was my fault choice.

8. Remembered nothing changes if nothing changes, and I have the POWER to choose differently.

9. GOT EDUCATED ACTUALLY! APPLIED MY KNOWLEDGE! Made changes. Saw different results. Over time, felt massively better, stronger, more trusting, empowered, energetic, AND saw my body composition change AND didn’t die. Yay!

post squat moodiness

If you’ve been here, I see you.

• If you’re on step 1, stick with me, get off instagram and tiktok, and skip to step 8.

• If you’re on step 2, I see you! Yay! See above.

• If you’re on step 3, I seeeeeee youuuuuu. See above.

• If you’re on step 4, I urge you to take care of yourself and to please seek professional help. I avoided professional help for far too long and kept suffering silently for a decade. You don’t have to. There are people who really want to help you, not punish you. I want you to know there is a whole world outside of where you are. There is enjoyment and connection and vitality and power and it is all yours for the taking, whenever you want it.

• If you’re on step 5, I see you, and YAY! A revelation! Please proceed to step 8.

• If you’re on step 6, I see you. The discomfort is temporary. The discomfort is worth it. The discomfort never really goes away, so you might as well learn to move through it. I want you to know there is a thing that feels better than torture even if it does hurt a little sometimes. It hurts so good is different than suffering.

• If you’re on step 7 and you’re beating yourself up, I see you. And I’m here to remind you that no matter how much you think you fucked up, you can still change. The opportunity has not evaporated. You are not fucked up forever.

• If you’re on step 9 and you’re just confused about where to start… yeah, I see you. First of all, please stop trying to piece together a fitness program from instagram and tiktok. Second, keep reading. Step 8 is where it all happens.

Now, without further blabbing, here are 6 things I wish I knew when I started my fitness journey.

i.e. how to start doing step 9…

1. You Have To Eat! More Than 1200 Calories!

Yeah I know you’ve seen r/1200isenough. Stop it.

You have to eat to fuel workouts, to recover from workouts, and to grow muscle. Your body needs those 1200 calories literally just to SURVIVE. For your brain to function. For your heart to beat. Your organs to do all the things they need to do. Piling the stress and energy expenditure of a workout on top of the basic functions it takes to keep you breathing and your heart beating requires extra calories.

2. “Skinny” is not actually the look you want, if you want to look like you have muscles, and you want those muscles to work, and you don’t want to get dizzy when you stand up from sitting.

There’s so much to say about this. There will be posts dedicated to this alone, I’m sure of it. But for now, know this: the fitness models you see with the “ yoga body” or, the “pilates body” are doing resistance training. Defined, poppin muscles don’t come from flapping your arms in the air and stretching in a hot room. Nothing against yoga or pilates, I love how they feel, but I am not doing them to grow a juicy ass. (Just ask Mikala Jamison).

3. Tracking food is not a competition to stay under the calorie count.

If you’ve struggled with ED this is likely where your mentality is (am I right?). Consider that tracking food could be a way to make sure you’re getting enough of the good stuff. The stuff that’ll help those muscles pop pop pop. And also make you FEEL GOOD and ALIVE and ENERGIZED. Just imagine… if life wasn’t an exercise in giving yourself less, but a practice of nourishing yourself with food that will literally support your goals. Even if you don’t see it or understand or believe it now. Also remember: change takes time. Results are not immediate. Trust the process. Also if you do want to track, I personally use the app MacroFactor and big time love it.

4. You’re probably way stronger than you think… but are letting the discomfort fool you.

If you’re already in the gym or doing workouts, even if you’ve been at it for a while, it’s likely that you’re confusing discomfort with inability. They’re not the same thing.

One of the core principles of muscle growth is progressive overload, which is basically inducing body adaptation over time by increasing workload thru adjusting the intensity of work via number of reps/sets, increasing weight, etc.

But if you’re increasing the reps and like… it’s still really easy? Like you could crank out 15 more… sorry but you’re just doing a bunch of work for little if any return on investment. Is this you?

In strength training you get to learn all about your mental barriers. When you meet an edge, a thought creeps in like hey, wouldn’t it be easier just to like… do the easier thing? Yeah in the short term, of course it would be easier. But is it moving you toward your goals? What about when life gets hard? Do you shut down? Back away? Give up?

The skill of strength is the skill of honesty. And you can learn it with a barbell that you tell yourself is a little too heavy, but you learn, in practice, is not.

5. ZOOM OUT!

It’s easy to get discouraged when you’re hypervigilant and tracking everything every second of the day. When you’re lifting your shirt to see if you suddenly have abs 2 hours after the last time you checked.

Changes are happening, slowly, gradually, in ways you won’t even notice if you’re looking for them all the time.

Step away from the mirror. Give yourself a month. Take progress photos… BUT NOT EVERY DAY!

And while I am all about aesthetic goals if those make you happy, which I know they do for a lot of people (myself included!) I also encourage you to have felt sense goals. What would you like your energy to be like? Those shifts, actually, can happen WAY faster than the physical. Especially if you’ve been living in starvation/overworking mode for a while, adding some fuel to your body can change your whole outlook on life. Trust me. Well actually don’t trust me, try it and see.

6. YOU NEED REST!

You need to sleep (I know, I like staying up till 3am watching youtube, too, but I suffer for it).

You need rest days.

You need rest between sets.

You might think you don’t need rest because one of the crazy things about undereating and overworking is that it can make you believe you’re invincible. You can convince yourself that running on fumes is actually your superpower (breaking: it’s not).

What if I told you there was a whole other level you’ve yet to unlock. True energy. Clarity. Drive. Motivation to move and do things beyond staying small (ya, it’s a theme okay?)

Rest is when your body recovers, repairs, integrates what you’ve kinesthetically learned. Rest is yummy. Rest is like ahhhhhhhh yes! Rest is the great contrast we get to experience amidst our busy busy lives. Rest is not punishment (I know sometimes it feels like it). Rest is a gift. There is no prize for being the most overworked girl in the gym unless you created it in which case, I offer you a new one: queen of giving yourself the best opportunity to perform as well as you want by valuing rest just as much as you do work.

Again, don’t trust me. Try it. Cause I know you won’t believe me unless you do. And you just might be surprised by how much you like it.

OKAY! Well I had like 5 more written down and 37 more that came to me as I was writing, but I think that’s enough for now. Parts two and three are in our future.

And real quick before I go… this morning I noticed these mugs sitting next to each other and couldn’t resist the photo op. Which are you choosing?

Till next time… onward!

x Faye

P.S.Let me know in the comments where you are in your journey, and what you want to know about moving forward.