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Julie Schmidt's avatar

I relate so much to this, as someone who saw both sides of the scale - literally! I've binged and binged but never enjoyed the food. I've starved and starved but longed for food. In the end it wasn't about the disorders or the food anyways, as you said. I had to come down into the body, spiraling into the womb and meet the fires of desire and passion. It truly is creativity! The flames of artistic expression - no matter what it looks like when expressed.

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faye boam's avatar

I love how you put that - the downward spiral into the flames of artistic expression — where we get to meet the core of desire. I've often thought about this as the specific descent into the underworld some of us choose. So good to connect with you Julie.

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Paolo Peralta's avatar

same here

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Eugenio's avatar

I have a question for you: How can we, those of us who do not have the inner inclination to make art, but do have the capacity to admire it, make art?

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faye boam's avatar

I’d first ask - do you actually not have the inner inclination to make art? Or is that just something you’ve told yourself? My personal definition of art is anything you create with love and intention - regardless of “technical goodness” or adherence to traditional ideas of art. It could be the way you look at someone, the way you breathe. The way you arrange fruit in a bowl…

My next idea is to gather inspiration from what you admire and allow yourself space to express what you admire about it. Become overflowing with inspiration. You could write or draw or move your body, or do anything that occurs to you. Art could even be a list on a post it note of things you admire

It’s a practice of listening to the subtle inclinations. And most important to keep in mind - there is no right or wrong way to express.

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Eugenio's avatar

Thank you Faye! finally I understood what you tried to teach us!

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faye boam's avatar

My pleasure Eugenio!

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Bougie Hippie's avatar

This. You. Is my story. God it feels good to read it here and feel it.

Body dysmorphia since childhood. Ballerina bulimic.

Then exercise and laxative bulimic.

Now yoga junkie.

Trying to eat what I love but still thrive in the lightness of starving.

Beseeching to God every morning to take it away.

And your read was my answer today. Thank you. 🙏🏼

I’ve been writing about this subject with too much fear in the gut to hit post from drafts. Soon come.

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faye boam's avatar

I’m so grateful this post found you today ♥️ thank you for sharing parts of your story. It’s such a gift to be able to connect through these shadowy elements and know we’re not alone. I’ll look forward to seeing what you pour about this topic. It’s a deep vein. I know many woman would be supported by hearing more stories from it

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Sarah Trudeau's avatar

Gorgeous. Thank you 🙏

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faye boam's avatar

Thank you for seeing me Sarah 🥀🪞

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megan miller's avatar

you nailed it. the anorexia is both a mask to hide behind and a blaring cry for help. and just as you said, a desperate yearning for a merging with something greater, but a lack of awareness on how to get there.

thank you for this.

what a time we are living in ~ the rise + resurgence of the Divine Feminine

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faye boam's avatar

thank you for reading and commenting megan 🥀 It truly is a wild time. Veils lifting everywhere you look.

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Paolo Peralta's avatar

Be God! :)

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faye boam's avatar

yes! be god! ;)

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hailee bella's avatar

this is incredibly relatable to me, your words resonate deep in my bones. especially with social media, it’s hard to not deem yourself as imperfect. but reading this meant a lot to me, and especially your last few paragraphs were inspiring.

i would love to write something similar about my own experience with it, if i credit you as inspiration, would you be comfortable with that?

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