56 Comments

Make Banging Big Again.

Seriously, this is spicy and glorious. I love the ambiguities in it.

Expand full comment

A very different kind of MBA. Spicy and glorious... my favorite kind of balance

Expand full comment

Damn, I love the way you write! 👏🤩😍

Expand full comment

Damn, I appreciate you for telling me 🤩❤️🌹

Expand full comment

Damn good! 😉🙌😁

Expand full comment

😘😘😘

Expand full comment

FUCKING GORGEOUS

Expand full comment

*fans self* Fuck! thank you Caroline.

Expand full comment

Descartes was misheard. What he really said was: I want therefore I am.

Leonard Cohen said something to this effect: If God didn't want us to eat each other, why did she make our flesh so sweet?

I guess that could be interpreted several different ways.

Expand full comment

That misheard Descartes line has always made me go, "huh?" Glad to have some clarity.

I have a poem that ends with "I want to be eaten." It is such a primal part of being.

Hunger is one of my favorite fascinations, all the ways it manifests, suppressed and twisted, freed and directed and expansive. I think hunger is one of the most misunderstood/negledced experiences that exists among humanity

Expand full comment

“makes us wiggle with wonder” That’s a damn good line. While you phrased it as a question; it’s much more an imperative. Because everyone has done it felt it, sought it, pushed themselves to give it. Although most shirk the honesty you brought to it. It’s like the resisted urge to feel your socks get wet when you go puddle hopping. You know it’s coming and can’t wait but it’s supposed to be a bad thing. The conviction in your words is pure. The earnest uncertainty with utter certainty resonates. It’s the ecstasy of confusion when you get carried away into the unknown with a release of denied satisfaction. Well done; you’ve got a new subscriber☺️

Expand full comment

Grateful to have you here, Andel :) I appreciate the thoughtful reflection. What a visceral description, the wet socks puddle hopping resistance dance. I can feel the clinging heavy fabric.

And I love this phrase, "the ecstasy of confusion." Now that's something to sink into.

Expand full comment

fuck the world open ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 yesss

Expand full comment

if you know, you know, you powerful poetic priestess

Expand full comment

🌹🌹🌹

Expand full comment

"People, man. What am I supposed to do with them?"

I still have no clue after asking that question for decades

"But also, how do I make friends?"

So few people ever become deep friends with others. Lots of acquaintances and people who want something from us, but few real friends.

I want you to be as you are

Expand full comment

Thank you for this thoughtful response Charlies. I'm grateful to know I'm in good company.

The thing about friends... it's been so interesting, over the past 10 years or so, having changed and learned so much, seemingly rapidly, it's felt almost impossible to connect with people for longer than a season or two. Maybe when time slows, it will get easier. Or maybe I just need to wait for those people who are moving like I do

Expand full comment

It's another form of 'banging' - those ephemeral friends are of the 'big bang theory' type - we bang into, or sometimes just brush against each other, then go careening, or drifting off on another trajectory, banging into others. Sometimes, like velcro, we find someone has attached themselves to us, or someone else, and longer-term friendships are formed. Then there are the friends we see only occasionally, similar to comets on lengthy orbits, only coming back into view on irregular schedules but still maintaining some sort of cosmic connection.

Expand full comment

what a wonderful visual of these different types of relationships. I have a lot of those lengthy comet type orbits in my life, and usually only one velcro is what I can handle.

space and solitude tend to compose most of my experience.

Expand full comment

you may be ON to something even as its been ridden/written? hard before:

friction fiction

😉🫠

Expand full comment

Just the greatest thing 💕🔥😻

Expand full comment

Isn’t it?

Expand full comment

Very much so!

Expand full comment

This was absolutely fucking magical. And such a ingenious way of portraying the imagery Faye! Really really enjoyed the whole piece!

Expand full comment

*blushing* Thank you so much Taylor!!! (okay it's not fair that you have THREE fucking awesome first names - I would go by a different one every day 😹) You put a huge smile on my face

Expand full comment

🤣🤣 awe you're so kind! Teeeccchhhnically Cecelia and Brook are my middles names but they flow really well together... and removed my last name issue with you know flipping my whole world upside down 🤣🤣

Expand full comment

They flow SO WELL lolllll tell me about flipping your whole world upside down. One of my fave topics of inquiry 🤓

Expand full comment

Oh you know I just decided to have a poly marriage but I could only fuck girls so I ended up cheating my my then husband. Got divorce moved in with my main sneaky link, a year later and we are engaged lol I never changed name legally and now I am just gunna wait until I get married again 🤣

Expand full comment

so just casually blowing shit up, then. I don't know anything about that 🙃Well! congrats on the engagement and following your desire lady. May we all have the balls to go for what we really want

Expand full comment

after reading your words, i am looking back on my old writing and wondering when and why i closed off—thank you for your permission

Expand full comment

Im grateful I can offer permission for you. I’ve have had the same experience, wondering where my heart went. Funny how we constrict ourselves from the very things we want most.

Expand full comment

That word "constrict" is an interesting choice. Makes me think of something that is growing, getting bigger and has to break out of its skin and molt, shed a shell that is now too small and tight. I think you are shedding your shell, things are getting foamy....what with all that push pull going on...

Expand full comment

Molting indeed. Which seems to be a continual process… it is interesting though, how sometimes it is a big struggle of push and pull and wriggling and writhing, and other times it’s more like there’s just a kink in the hose and once I notice, WHOOSH, full force returns in a breath

Expand full comment

Yep. Maybe as we get more in tune with our direction things get more streamlined. I have to say, in my case, at 65 years old and finally accepting that this poetry shit is not going to leave me alone, there is streamlining. Early on it's all pinballing around unless you're Mozart or Bill Shakespeare. For what it's worth, I think you're the cat's ass and your intuitive motion movement brainchild might save this obese, under stimulated world. Go you crazy thing and never stop.

Expand full comment

I love that, this “poetry shit” isn’t gonna leave you alone. So poetic.

Yeah, streamlining like, the moments of clarity get closer together maybe? That’s how it seems now, anyway. Try enough things, find an anchor, tune into the next evolution sooner, or something. And the darkness becomes more familiar and chaos is less of a disorienting frenzy.

I have never before been called the cat’s ass and I do so appreciate the inventive compliment (I dunno, is that a Wes original?) Anyhow, I’ve heeded the call. There’s no stopping the force now! Just some kinks to unfurl every so often.

Expand full comment

That thing you said about chaos....I would guess that most people avoid any type of chaos because you really don't know what you're letting yourself in for but, with enough practice comes confidence. I've seen guys drive cars on two wheels.

On another tack, we humans used to move a lot. All this sedentary living is basically slowly killing us. What you are doing is remembering how utterly fucking important movement is to LIFE and you are reminding all of us of it. Keep at it. They talk about the Paleo diet, well, you are doing something just like that but more important. Move it or lose it, all of it. Doing the Paleo "Boogie Woogie Baby". Fats Domino playing cause he's the cat's ass.😉

https://youtu.be/vmbF-jSJDgI?si=PICIhXjHDv0rbJ3e

If that don't get it, play "Sing, Sing, Sing" the loudest you can stand. Some very good dancing here. One of my favorite big band songs. Louis Prima 1934 https://youtu.be/TOPSETBUgvQ?si=35H0HoigMfak6xXP

Expand full comment

Yes girl. I feel so much of this. 🔥

Expand full comment

My fellow deep feeler 🍯

Expand full comment

I love this. That’s quite the mantra “fuck the world open”! And would also make a spectacular tattoo.

Expand full comment

Thank you Ryan, I love that you love it. Our conversations have definitely reinvigorated my creativity in writing.

Isn't it though? I just can't get it out of my head now

Expand full comment

Your style and your rhythms are impeccable! What a gift!

Expand full comment

Your words are a gift to receive, as well. Thank you Robert! I’m so glad you enjoyed

Expand full comment

I love this and I want you to be as you clearly are. I agree that finding live or even true friendship online is highly doubtful and really never a valid goal.

Expand full comment

Thank you, John. I am constantly delighted by the people I cross paths with in this space. Your comment makes me think about how when expressing oneself clearly and truly is the intention, rather than attaining friendship and love by playing a fabricated part, only then do the possibilities for love and true friendship arise

Expand full comment

I totally get the whole wanting to open up, to be truly seen. It’s scary but also feels so good. I can relate to feeling like an alien sometimes too. The way you talk about wanting connection but still wanting to stay in your own skin—constant push-pull. It’s messy, but kind of beautiful too. Thank you for being so open and honest. I see you, and I want you back! ❤️

Expand full comment

Thanks lady ❤️ that feels good. And yes, that endless push-pull! I remember my beau saying to me once, all great experiences come with a little fear, and I've found that to be true. There's always something to learn from stepping into the messy wonderful unknown.

Expand full comment