muscles of my face arrange themselves as if to say, perceive me this way. you may only look at me when i’m perfect. habits learned decades earlier. i notice tension in my jaw and forehead. breathe. release. look into the camera.
what’s really here?
what’s beneath the surface inclination — beneath the fear of what will happen if you don’t look pretty or nice or good or desirable?
what’s beneath fear of too much or not enough?
what’s beneath what if they don’t love me?
what is my energy actually communicating?
what do I actually feel and am I willing to reveal that?
the mask is not complex.
the mask is the tension you wear. your body armor. the contorted posture.
it shapes the way you breathe and speak and fuck and think and love.
it shapes everything about how the world occurs to you.
your shape shapes your entire life.
as within, so without; as above, so below.
you have a mask for every occasion. externally they look different but internally they are all the same.
resistance.
where are you withholding love? not the concept of love your ego uses to protect you. eros. the love that takes all forms. all shapes.
where are you restricting breath?
where are you closing?
what parts of you mustn’t be seen?
where are you resisting the truth of your aliveness?
are you willing to surrender to the current?
become the channel that embraces the full spectrum of experience wanting to flow through you?
pain to pleasure, ugliness to beauty, dark to light and everything in between?
In so many places and in so many ways we have been schooled to look, believe and behave. I have since come to a revelation that freedom is about casting aside the schooling of others to perform a certain way. We are each unique people and have inherent worth and value in being ourselves. So what if I have more than sufficient freckles, or that I carry “too much” weight, or not enough weight. Or that my teeth aren’t quite straight enough or white enough. Or that my sexuality isn’t the same as “theirs” . I am me and I celebrate who I am
I'm so curious about how you personally define "erotic"-
What does it encompass?
What does it not encompass, if anything?
Forgive me if you've written about this before. I've been an absentee for a while here. (And please do point me in the right direction if you have.)
I am truly enjoying your work.